Bahama Breeze

The wine list at Bahama Breeze reads exactly how you'd expect a corporate Caribbean chain to approach wine: safe, predictable, and clearly assembled by committee in a Florida office park. Nothing here is going to surprise you, and that's kind of the point — this list exists so people can order wine without thinking about it.

Twenty to thirty bottles, all chain-standardized, all pulled from the greatest hits of grocery store shelves. California and New Zealand carry the weight, with a few Italian bottles rounding out the edges. There's no regional curiosity, no indie producers, no attempt to nod toward Caribbean wine culture (not that there's much to nod at, but still). What you get is Kim Crawford, Meiomi, Kendall-Jackson — wines that exist because focus groups approved them.

Eight to twelve pours by the glass, ranging from $8 to $13, which sounds reasonable until you realize these are bottles you can grab at Total Wine for $10–$15 retail. The rotation doesn't rotate — this is a set-and-forget program that changes when corporate says so, not when seasons or curiosity demand it.